Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
