how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do herpes really smell.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
