I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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