According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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