just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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