just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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