If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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