I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
