Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
