I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The adults are the big ones right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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