I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
