1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
