Me. At least after what I've been through.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
