i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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