god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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