But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
