i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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