So drunk its hurt
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
