So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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