I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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