He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
