you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
