No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
