The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
