ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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