you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
