i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize