I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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