wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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