My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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