Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize