We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
