A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have aggressive nipples.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
