I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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