it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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