Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
