Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
