There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
