It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
