If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think I just sharted jello shots
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