I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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