I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
