Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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