Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
