I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
