I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize