He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
