The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
