Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
