she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
