I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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