i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
