Dual....:-)
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
