How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
