how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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