I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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