Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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