she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
