you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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