i don't like sucking hair
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
