This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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