I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
